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Author | Topic: Tatharo (Read 136 times) |
Willow Traveler
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 18 Location: Polaris Karma: 2 |  | Tatharo « Thread Started on Sept 11, 2007, 6:13pm » | |
Name: Tatharo Ignorion Species: Elf Age: 17 Gender: Male Image: Physical: Unlike other elves he is very tan because he's outside in his small field most of the time. At first glance he would look more like a human then an elf because of his tan skin and his ears are usually hidden under his hair or his hat. He has shaggy dark flaming red hair that goes over his ears which he keeps in a very messy manner. His eyes are a shade of dark brown and has reading glasses although he hardly uses them at all.
Tatharo usually wears oversized overalls or jeans with a baggy shirt. He always wears a straw hat when he is outside unless it's very windy. On those seldom days he comes out to the city he wears a long faded black or a poor dark gray cloak and a glove on his right hand that doesn't cover his fingertips but goes up to his elbow.
Personality: Tatharo is a friendly and kind elf who will help anyone in need. He's hard to anger but if his calm temper is provoked the results won't be good. He enjoys making wood carvings and he's pretty good with any kind of weapons. He can be a hard-headed elf who only believes what his eyes can see. He hates it when people don't just get to the point but dances around the subject in a conversation. He never tries to be someone who he isn't and is proud of who he is. History: Tatharo was born to a lovely farming couple his father Elrohir an elf, and his mother Becca. His father taught him how to grow crops and take care of animals when he was little child. Since then he wanted to be nothing but a farmer. When he was almost eleven, his cousin Celessia moved in and they became good friends. Four years later his father died in a flood, his mother Becca died a few days later from depression and a unknown sickness. He became very depressed for a wile but then accepted their death and moved on with his life tending the farm. One day when he was out hunting he found a starving elf (Night) in the woods. He invited Night to live with him and now he has a helper at the farm. Powers: Well he can run really fast, even for an elf. Character Faults: He can be very hard headed when he's in a bad mood refusing to listen to anything. He can also hold a grudge for a very long time which can be big inconvinence trying to ignore someone for so long. Tatharo is quite terrible at lying or acting. He always twiches and loses his voice. Roleplay Sample: A teenage elf with flaming red hair layed on top of the cabin's wooden roof, his breathing muffled under a straw hat that was placed on top of his sleeping head. "Lazy..." a pale elf muttered as he appeared out of the forest of wheat, Night kicked the door of the cabin open and quickly grabbed a bucket and filled it with cold water. He climbed to the roof with one hand using the vines to help and grabbing the waterfilled bucket with the other hand. He cautiously crept near the sleeping elf and without warning he dumped the cold water onto the sleeping elf's head. Tatharo woke up with a start his eyes filled with shock. Night laughed and then gracefully jumped off the roof landing on his feet. "You little - I'll get you and then you'll be sorry you ever came across me!" he roared watching Night trotting joyfully into the wheat field once again. "Ungrateful little kid..." Tatharo muttered as he climbed back down in his wet clothes thinking of why he let Night live with him in the first place. Only the seventh day he was here and already he was getting annoying. Job: Farmer Adoption: Yes Anything else: He lives at the edge of Merendell Wood in a cabin and he has two acres of wheat and corn fields. Is your form done?: Yes Just tell us the spiffy codeword. : bluex
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Ripple~Wizard Administrator.
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 340 Location: In Elcarim! Karma: 3 |  | Re: Tatharo « Reply #1 on Sept 12, 2007, 4:36pm » | |
Obviously, it's not done yet, but I would just like to draw your attention to something.
Review your Physical Description, you will find that there are spelling and grammar mistakes. Please go over those, and be more careful in the future. Also, please use complete sentences, not this. Here are quotes from your bio, showing examples of incomplete sentences.
Quote:| Always wears a straw hat on his head and large leather boots. |
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Quote:| Pretty tall and muscular. |
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Here are spelling mistakes:
Quote:
Quote:
And another thing is, the first sentence in the Physical Description is too long, and it should either be separated by commas, or separated into two sentences. I'm talking about this sentence:
Quote:| Unlike other elves he is very tan beause he's outside in his small field most of the time and looks more like a human then elf other then his elvlike ears but acts more like an elf. |
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It just sounds like a run-on sentence, you can figure out how to separate it.
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Willow Traveler
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 18 Location: Polaris Karma: 2 |  | Re: Tatharo « Reply #2 on Oct 13, 2007, 4:26pm » | |
Okay I edited it and added more stuff but I'm not done yet cause I have to do the RP sample and yeah. But feel free to point out my mistakes.
Edit:// Okay now I'm done.
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Ripple~Wizard Administrator.
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 340 Location: In Elcarim! Karma: 3 |  | Re: Tatharo « Reply #3 on Oct 16, 2007, 4:32pm » | |
[i]Personality:[/u]
Grammar:
Quote:He enjoys making wood carvings and pretty good with any kind of weapons.[quote]
It should be: He enjoys making wood carvings and HE'S pretty good with any kind of weapons.
Spelling: [quote]belives |
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History: Grammar:
Quote:| Tatharo was born to a lovely farming couple his father Elrohir was an elf and his mother Becca. |
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Add some commas and stuff.
Quote:| When he was almost eleven his cousin Celessia moved in they became good friends. |
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Commas. Maybe make it like this: When he was almost eleven, his cousin Celessia moved it, and they became good friends.
Quote:| His father tought him how to grow crops and take care of animals when he was little and since then he wanted to be nothing but a farmer. |
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Add some commas, and maybe make it 2 sentences.
Spelling:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote: Other:
Quote:| Four years later his father died in a flood and his mother Becca died a few days later. |
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How did Becca die?
Character Faults:
Other:
Quote:Hard-headed. He can hold a grudge for a very long time. Is bad at lying or acting. |
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Please make this into complete sentences.
Anything Else:
Grammar:
Quote:| He lives at the edge of Merendell Wood in a cabin and two acres of wheat and corn field. |
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Should become: He lives at the edge of Merendell Wood in a cabin and HE HAS two acres of wheat and corn fieldS.
Also, please add how Night knows Tatharo in the History.
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Willow Traveler
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 18 Location: Polaris Karma: 2 |  | Re: Tatharo « Reply #4 on Oct 17, 2007, 5:24pm » | |
Okay I edited that, uh anything else I should change?
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Ripple~Wizard Administrator.
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Joined: Aug 2007 Gender: Female  Posts: 340 Location: In Elcarim! Karma: 3 |  | Re: Tatharo « Reply #5 on Oct 17, 2007, 6:21pm » | |
That's much better. Since I'm a temporary moderator right now, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to approve characters..so...we'll have to wait for Feather.
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